"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his broker. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
An agent who was being paid by the week approached his broker and held up his last paycheck.
'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,' he said.
'I know,' the manager said. 'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.'
'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,' the agent answered, 'but when it gets to be a habit, I feel
I have to call it to your attention.'
A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent, "I want to sell my g@d d@#n house."
To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my f*@&ing house!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this office."
So saying, the agent goes over to the broker to tell him about her situation. They both return and the broker asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I want to sell my f*@&ing five million dollar home."
"I see," says the broker, "and this b!t@h is giving you a hard time?"
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Real Estate Agent: That's great, I'll take two of them.
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
A real estate agent walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.
"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make,
your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."
The real estate agent thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "
But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said.
"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the agent said.
Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said.
"And what is your last wish?"
"Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."
